Skip to main content

Things they never told me about teaching and things I never expected to experience.


I have been putting off blogging until I was a month into school so I could fully share my thoughts and feelings with enough evidence behind it to actually mean something. I wish I could say that this last month has been the best one of my life. I wish I could say that I haven’t questioned every single day about my decision to become a teacher. I wish I could relate to all those other interns/first year teachers who are having a walk in the park. I wish so many different things for my life. I have realized in the last month that dreams aren’t always what life has planned and that my Heavenly Father is in complete control. I have cried. I have yelled in my car. I have drank Diet Coke until it no longer had any effect at all. I have been on my knees praying more than I have been standing.
My whole college career I had received multiple and many spiritual confirmations that teaching was the right career path for me. I had known and that’s the path I chose for my life. I made the decision to be a teacher. I made the decision to trust 18 learners with my abilities and my strengths. I made the decision to do this internship.
I was chosen for my school. I was hired and when I was hired someone believed in me enough through a 10-minute group interview to place me where I am. I was so sure. I hate to use the word “was.” It seems so in the past. It feels like a million years ago. One month of my life has turned into one of the most challenging I’ve ever had to experience.
When it comes to how I’ve been feeling I can’t blame it on any of my kids. I can’t blame it on their parents. I can’t blame it on the school. I can’t blame it on anything. There is nowhere to place the blame and that at times can be the most frustrating. It all comes down to decisions I have made and where my loving Heavenly Father has decided to place me on this path.
The title of this blog post is “Things they never told me about teaching and things I never expected to experience.” Even though the first 350ish words of this post were my true feelings I also need to mention the things I never expected to experience. I never expected to feel so loved. I can be having the hardest day and then when my sweet darlings leave my classroom I get 18 hugs, high-fives, or handshakes. I get notes from students telling me how much they love me. I also never expected to feel so much love for tiny humans who aren’t members of my family. They are my kids. For 6-7 hours a day they are in my hands. I am the one who gets to make them smile. I am the one who gets to see the light go on when they learn something new. I am the one they look to for guidance and counsel. I am the one their parents have trusted to protect and care for their child.
I never expected to become so good at keeping a straight face. One of my kids will randomly fart during a quiet lesson and the whole class will laugh and I have to keep a straight face so they won’t be encouraged. I never expected to have such an odd sense of time. Five minutes of peace and quiet is rare and is one of my simple pleasures of life. I never expected that my kids would bring so much love and happiness into my life. Teaching for me is hard. Teaching for me has not come easily. I fight every single day to be the type of teacher I want to be and I want to be the best I can be for my 18 scholars.
Through this past month I have completely relied on my Savior for comfort and guidance. I have felt his love surround me during the days where I just feel like I can’t go on and those days where my life couldn’t seem any more challenging. I have a sure testimony that He lives and that He loves me. He knows me so perfectly and he truly knows how much I can handle. Each day of my life is an adventure. I couldn’t have made it this far without Him and I know He has my back every step of the way.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Prayer of a Teacher After the First Day of School.

I cried today. Lately, I haven't been much of a cryer. My mom will tell you that it takes a lot to make me cry. Today I cried. I cried because today was the first day of school. I am exhausted. My feet hurt, my face is greasy, and I'm not sure how I smell. I smiled as 22 brand new students walked into classroom 120. I felt the high energy of the kids who wished summer was at least another month longer. I tried to explain the rules and procedures but forgot how difficult that can be. This year will prove to be the biggest challenge in my teaching career. I miss my kids from last year, still. I hope the impact they've left on me will never change. Today, I write down a prayer for myself and for all my teachers out there. I pray that I will make a difference. I pray that tomorrow when the routines begin that I will give direction with clarity. I pray that I will find something to love about each one of my students. I pray I don't forget the good kids while I'm focusin…

Coming to an end.

Considering my last post was in October, this morning I woke up and finally wanted to let the fingers type and do the talking. Since October my life has changed and I have grown so much. I always knew I wanted to be a teacher and I also always knew that I have both of my parents running through my blood. What this means for me is that I have this incredible drive to push myself to limits that haven't been set. My beautiful mother gave me passion for education. She constantly sets the example of the most excellent educator and one day I hope to be as successful as she is and was in the classroom. My mother gave me the realistic expectations that come with teaching, such as not always getting my way or having things work out in the way I would like them to. Bless her soul for being my constant supporter. My father gave me the drive to work hard and to never give up. He works construction and there hasn't been one thing that he hasn't finished once he set his mind to it. He …

Me + Christ = More

I haven't blogged in awhile. I think a lot of my blogs in the past year have started out that same way. I couldn't tell you why this is so, but it is. As I think of where my life is right this second there are millions of thoughts rushing through my head. About a year ago my life changed when I made some difficult decisions and accepted my life and who I was. 
I often get lost in my thoughts when I think of how I wish I could be more of something. Sometimes I want to be more healthy. Sometimes I want to be more athletic. I want to be more energetic for my students. I want to be more caring. I want to be more loving. I want to be more accepting. I want to be more Christ-like. I want to be more involved with my siblings. I want to be more accepted. I want to be more of a better team player for my teachers. I want to be more this and more that. I want to be more. A very wise person told me to lower my expectations of myself. As an educator this had a huge impact. I set very high …