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It's Worth Something.

It's 8pm. I've been up since 6:30am. I haven't eaten dinner yet and I have never felt more exhausted in my whole life. My roommates are gone and for 10 minutes or so I will have peace and quiet. Alone time- something I never thought I would crave as much as I do lately. Work has been stressful in more ways than one. 18 credit hours are proving to be a difficult task. My cousin is getting married next week and I'll be doing things "Wedding related" all weekend. I wish I could be excited but with 3 papers due at the beginning of next week I'm not quite sure how I'm going to manage everything on my to-do list. People are lucky if I decide to even do my hair when I wake up in the morning. Sleep is precious because it's the only time my mind doesn't have a million things on it so things like having a good hair day have become less important.

Priorities. I should probably mention all my roommates are out doing fun things like institute or the BYU Women's Soccer game. Things maybe I'll have time for one of these days. Here I am talking about my lack of time and I sit here writing because it's me time and I need it. I feel like Super Woman sometimes because I don't know how I get everything done that I need to. I send emails walking to and from classes, I get my social media in when I'm talking a bath, I eat inconsistently (if I even remember to eat), and I spend hours on my living room floor working on homework. My poor mother has listened to my sobbing every single day this week. I don't know how it happens but things get done. I could tell you more sob stories all night and make you feel really bad for me because lately my life has felt like a car crash, but I won't.

 I am here typing away my soul to all of you people who read, or even don't read my blog, because I am so lucky. I walk on campus each day and I feel the love of everyone around me. I see girls dressed modestly (mostly) and boys who are clean-shaven. We start each class with a prayer. I love BYU. I am so excited to be a teacher. SO many people advise not to go into education because of the lack of money. I would like to beg to differ. The lack of funds is made up knowing that one day I'll make a difference in someones life. I can be a real hero. I can change the world and I plan on it. If you asked me last year if teaching was right for me I would probably say yes but now I can say that I WILL be a teacher. I will be a great teacher and I feel that each day when I walk into class. I have a responsibility to be the change I wish to see in the world. I will be that change.

I probably wrote that because in the midst of my crazy life where I cry all the time I need to know that it's worth something, and it is.


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