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Showing posts from February, 2012

Hello, Reality.

Hello and welcome to reality. Here the grass is greener if you water it, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow is empty, and breaking a leg actually isn't a sign of good luck. Today I reflected on the person I was two years ago. It's amazing to me the people I hadn't met two years ago. Two years ago I never would have imagined falling in love with the people I did, getting broken by those who broke me, working in the places I have worked, and rebuilding myself after all the storms were over. Even though these past two years has NOT been the easiest, I am beyond grateful for the lessons I have learned. I have grown up a tremendous amount lately. I have started working, I have been fully working on my degree, and I am growing spiritually in my relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I could go on and on for days about the differences between that girl I used to be, and the woman I am today. The main reason I blog is for my future children. I want them to know…

You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness.

An hour. Maybe it was a little less than that. A matter such as this cannot be timed exactly. In the space of an hour I found myself again. It had to have been the weather. As a matter of fact I know that is was the weather. When the weather is like that you can't help but be overwhelmed by the goodness of life. I think it was the way the sun felt on my face. Or the way that the wind made perfect timing of intricate rhythm as it rustled the leaves on the trees. Maybe it was the feeling I got when I actually started reading a book for the first time in a long time. I know that it was a mixture of all of those things. You see, life is not always like this. Life for me lately has been a pretty dark place. When someone tells you that you don't even know who you are, that comes as a slap of extreme reality right in the face. Did I really not know who I was anymore? Had I lost all sense of my "Shelby?" I started to believe that I had. It was gone and honestly I didn't …

Small Miracles and Eternal Blessings

A lot of people may wonder why I blog. You might think it's lame, a waste of time, not worth it, or even silly. For all of you thinking that, you might as well stop reading now. When I blog I write a small piece of my heart. Most of the time this is a part of me that doesn't seem to make sense anywhere else except when I type. Tonight I am going to be real and really honest with each one of you, including myself. Life is constantly changing. No two days are exactly the same even though you may feel like your life is just constant repetition. In the world today people are faced with temptations and challenges daily. You may find yourself praying and pleading with God and you may feel like you are not receiving any answers. You may be struggling with the future, with your job, with your family, with sickness, with your friends, or even with your faith. I am speaking today to all religions. No matter who you are, no matter what your circumstance, no matter what church you go to, …

The long journey back to better Part 2.

You you remember that road I talked about before? That old country road that tells the stories of many years? I found myself faced with that road again today. As I stood in that road and looked both ways all I saw was nothing. I felt the asphalt beneath my feet and I could hear the simple sounds of the birds around me, and yet I felt nothing. I used to have a plan for my life. It was all so clear. Reality finally sets in and it makes that plan seem not so important. You turn off that road and head down new ones. Those roads for me have been love. I have always been willing to take those roads that I believed led me to love, and most of the time they have. I have been happy, I have been blessed, and I have had so much experience from these roads. All of them have been bumpy and sometimes I have been blindly led to a dead end. I am then forced to turn around and head back towards that road that it always there, that road that will always be there. Someone once told me a quote that has f…