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Showing posts from November, 2011

The long journey back to better.

Have you ever stood in the middle of a country road, looked both ways, and realized that one day like this road, your road will be old and full of life? This road has seen the glory of a new car and has felt the wisdom of a old beat up car. This road has stood firm and steadfast in the face of rain, wind, cold, and the heat of a Florida summer. This road has felt life. It has served its purpose. This road is finally content with the life it has been given. Like the road, one day I'll be looking back at my life and I will realize the moments of glory, the moments of wisdom, the moments of being steadfast and firm, the moments of life, the moment where I can truly be okay with my purpose, and the moments of pure joy. The phrase, "Finding joy in the journey," has never been more clear. It has never been so simply put and placed before my eyes. This is about regret. This is about sorrow and forgiveness. This is about finding that sense of calm within you after you have reach…

Long day.

I would love to know how when things get to a certain point, it is so hard to stay positive. I am one small person. I struggle daily with figuring out who and what I am. I struggle with self esteem and feeling worth something. I struggle to find myself in time, when a minute feels like an hour. I struggle with balancing school and work. I struggle with the idea of being alone. I struggle with getting to sleep at night. I struggle with feeling like I'm making a difference. I struggle..a lot. Do not get me wrong though, just because right now I'm barely breathing that doesn't mean I'm dead. This struggle is temporary. I know life is hard, I know it's supposed to be. I know that no matter what I have people that love me, even if I don't deserve it. I know that one day, this will all be worth it. I know that even though I am crazy and emotional right now there is a good chance that tomorrow will be better. I have so much hope. Hope a lot of times is the only thing …

Nov. 13: All things girl.

Today I am thankful for all things "girl." I am an odd girl with some weird habits, but I would NEVER want to be a boy. I love bows, shoes, clothes, candles, headbands, romance novels, chick flicks, makeup, and jewelry way to much. I am thankful for the opportunity that I will have one day to have children of my own. Being a girl is great.

Nov. 12: Best Friends Forever.

I am truly thankful for my friends. You know you've got a best friend when you're on the phone with her and she starts brushing her teeth. This weekend I have had the chance to see most of my dear sweet friends(which is a good thing because I'm about to be so busy seeing them will be almost impossible). They have made me happy. They have made me smile and laugh. I couldn't have made it through these past couple of months without them. The one thing I love about my friends is that they are all so different. They are all so amazing. You know who you are. You know the way you've touched my life for good, and if you don't, you do now! So thank you! Today I am grateful for you (:

Nov. 11: Freedom

Today is Veterans day so I am thankful for all those who serve to protect our country. I am so blessed to live in a place where I have so many freedoms. I do NOT take these for granted, and I don't think anyone should. I am so lucky. "In God we Trust."

Nov. 9: Worth of Souls

Tonight for the first time in a long time I was happy. Every Wednesday I attend Institute, or in other words, a college bible study class. This happens to be the best part of my week. You would never think that an hour and a half would have such an amazing impact on someones life, but it does in mine. It makes a big impact. The teacher for the class is one of those exceptional woman I'm always talking about. She's strong, smart, beautiful, spiritual, loving, kind, and selfless. She does a wonderful job teaching this class and I'm not quite sure I'd love it as much if someone else was teaching. Anywho, I love Institute. I love learning bible stories and learning more about our Savior. Finding a relationship with Christ is something everyone should strive to do. Jesus Christ is my best friend. He is my Savior, and my friend. I am grateful. I have such a strong testimony of him and I know without a shadow of a doubt that he is the answer. No question is ever larger than h…

Nov. 8: The little things.

Today I am thankful for the little things. There were many little things in my life today that made a big difference and it made me extra grateful. My dear sweet mother came home. I met an amazing new woman and might get another job. I got to talk and giggle with my best friend on the phone. I spent time to thank a friend for being so great. I got to be lazy today. I learned which way is North(though I probably won't remember tomorrow). I read church talks. I read my scriptures. I made someone smile. I got to spend time with my little brother. I smiled. I played the piano. I appreciated the little things. (:

Nov. 7: Dare you to move.

Today I am thankful for second chances. Second chances don't come often, so when you get them, use it wisely. A lot of times people don't deserve the second chance, after all they must have done something terribly wrong to need another shot to get things right. Then again, everyone deserves forgiveness. I find forgiving myself is a lot harder than forgiving others. This is something I've struggled with lately. I have decided to give myself a second chance, another shot, and a "get out of jail free" card. The sincere grace Jesus Christ offers us is something that shouldn't be hard to understand, or hard to remember. At times remembering that simple fact isn't easy and we often times forget. Don't allow yourself to forget. EVER. I am so thankful for Jesus Christ. He is my rock, my best friend, and my Savior. Without him, I would be nothing.

Nov. 6: Love like That

I can honestly say the first time I read this quote, I was hooked. Today I am thankful for Sunday. Sunday is the best day of the week. You get to go to church, hang out with family, and take naps! I am thankful for a lot of things, but being thankful for Sunday on Sunday seemed right (:

Nov. 5: I play on the black keys.

Music somehow finds a way to speak to the soul of millions of people all around the world. No one really understands why, and sometimes I think that's the beauty of it. Notes carefully chosen to create a masterpiece that provokes feeling and thought. Music is cunning, captivating, bitter, honest, sincere, angry, loving, caring, kind, sensitive, and sincere. There is always a song that seems to take the words right out of your mind and puts them into song. Today I am thankful for music. I am not the greatest piano player in the world, I can hardly play anything at all, but there is still that feeling I get each time I tickle those ivories. The feeling, the movement, the simplicity of song is so brilliant. I love music.

Nov. 4: Strength

Everyone has heard it. Put on the whole armor of God. Mostly when I think of strength I think of over-sized muscles on a guy who looks like an exploded "Ken" doll. You know, the kid of guy every other guy wishes he looked like. So what exactly is strength? Do you have to work out, have a good body, and be able to lift heavy things to make you strong? I think not. Today I am thankful for the strength God gives me each day. Everyone has those days where getting out of bed seems like a bad idea simply because you have this gut feeling that today will be a bad day. Everyone has those days, and almost everyone finds the strength to get out of bed anyways. No matter where life takes you, no matter what people take from you, at the end of the day you will always have your personal strength. Now back to the picture. This girl looks strong, courageous, and determined. This picture is in a frame on my dresser and lately I find myself just staring at it. I think to myself, "Can I …

Nov. 3: Laughter

Today I am thankful for the cheapest form of medicine that I can afford right now: laughter. A day without laughter is a day wasted. I talked to my best friend on the phone today for over an hour. Sometimes those phone calls are all that keeps me going. It's so nice to be able to just talk and just laugh. So, when your life gets dark and depressing, just laugh. It helps, I promise (:

Nov. 1: Fire in her Eyes

Today sparks the first day of the month everyone feels extra blessed. November. This year, I will tell one thing I am thankful for each day. I am thankful every day for the goodness in my life, but November is always a simple reminder. Day one is all about one of the most amazing people in my life. Chelsey. Though we've known each other for quite some time in these last couple of weeks she has been one of the most strong girls I have ever met. Her trials right now are similar to mine, and though we both are dealing with a lot, we are dealing with them together. One day we both will find that perfect guy for us, but for now we are sticking to ourselves and each other. We both have found first hand the immense love the Savior has for us and we continue to strengthen our relationship with him daily. Having a friend like Chelsey is a blessing. She may not know, but she gave me the courage to stick up for myself and for my Savior. So Chelsey whenever you are feeling alone please know t…